Out of my chest

Every once or twice a week I get tears coming down my face.

I cry, I laugh and I think but nothing seems to work…

"Keep smiling" my voice says

My mind is saying "be sad"

The sun is so bright but it’s like all I see is dark clouds making it hard to see.

They say "mind over power"

But how? If your mind is being taken over a monster with no face and or voice to speak for yourself.

It’s like there’s no power over it to beat.

The body is working so hard but the brain is so tired and can’t stop overthinking, can't stop counting, or stop daydreaming any time of the day and night.

How will this end up later? Will I make it out? Will this nightmare go away if it’s a nightmare? How can it go away if the pills is what is needed? Nothing seems to work but still don't want the easy way out.

Nobody knows, nobody understands, you show them links, que to them, YouTube, give information from web but they think it's curable and it's a made up on the head.

Nothing's wrong they say, you're overreacting, get over it, it's all in your head, your dumb if you keep talking about the past, move on etc..

Normal brain can think what you want it to think but mentally ill ones take over your brain then you have no control over it even if you try....