“Mind Over Matter”

Some days there’s tears running down my cheeks. 

The tears, the sadness in my heart, but I laugh just like nothing is wrong. Just overlooking at what the future holds.

But nothing seems to work. “Keep smiling" my voice says, but my mind is saying "be sad.” I cry, I laugh and I smile pretending everything else is good. And nothing seems to work.

Taking that smile and not look sad is hard to do. The sun is bright enough, but all I see is dark clouds blocking the light. People say "Mind over Matter” How? If your mind is being taken over a monster with no face and a voice that speaks for you. 

No power over to thoughts. The brain is thinking hard that the brain becomes tired and starts to shut down. Let’s stop counting and overthinking.

Asking myself over and over again…

At what time of the day will this end? And will I make it out? Will this darkness go away? Is it a nightmare? So, how can it go away if the pills are the way I can go on living? Fighting for your life with demons in your head. Nobody knows, nobody understands, none care to listen, blinded by their ignorance and show them links, send them YouTube videos, give out so much information, but they think it's all made up in your head. 

It’s not easy to take control over your emotions. Can’t realize it’s not you that’s the problem it’s the trauma you have with yourself. 

The things they say: Nothing's wrong, you're overreacting, get over it, that was the past, it's all in your head, your dumb if you keep talking about the past, move on etc… mentally ill that it will take over your brain and having no control of it even if you try… 

So, wherever the situation is. Guess what? I’m still here am I? And you can too. 

Just keep on fighting with the demons inside our heads, keep moving forward and keep going without giving up. Please! Don’t let it consume you and bring you down.

We all are here for a reason. 

Sincerely yours, Depression.